I tried to hold this back, and wait for the people to give me a topic. But I couldn't hold this back any longer. So bare with me folks....I go BALLS DEEP with this one.
Fabolous...."Stay" (Loso's Way)
This song means a lot to me right now. Probably because I relate to this situation hard. Speaking from a son's perspective, the importance of having a father around is most definitely detrimental to life. To have a male figure in a boy's life can prove to have lasting effects for the near future. It can help to mold a boy's train of thought, his characteristics, his morals and self discovery.
"He should've gave me everything and left me even more/but he left me without sayin' what he was leaving for...now that's when I became a man..and that's the day he stopped being one"....-Fabolous "Stay" (Loso's Way)
This is usually the tale for males raised in a single parent home. Most of time from a general census, children are more prone to be brought up by their mothers. The fathers are usually absent in the upbringing of the child. Due to conflict issues between the mother and father, it's usually the father who leaves. Drawing the child's love to further be shown to their mother. A mass amount of resentment is created for the father...driving the child to either push harder to succeed in life or to push the child in a negative turn of lifestyles. To quote Jay-Z: Minus her tears, To rewind this time I promise I would minus my years to this day to take her pain away".
The general outlook of parenthood is that if a child were to be brought up in a single parent home, the father would most likely not be around. Personally, I'm growing tired of this trend. I know there are decent men out there who actually would give anything to make sure that their child grows into something decent in society.
But I will say this. Given a situation, I can see why the father would sometimes want to leave. (GASPS) Yep, that's right. I can see why. Women are already a handful at times just by themselves. Crazy emotion swings. The urge to push your buttons. Their words can hurt you more than what you would let on. Their ability to get inside your head and screw you up. Sometimes, the bittersweet relationship you've had with the woman you thought was love or at least like could easily be tarnished to the point it's almost impossible to stay around.....
Sometimes, it's the stress of knowing you have to do what you have to do in order to provide for the very life you created, as well as the woman who helped you to create it. Feelings get tainted to a point you can hardly be civil when around each other. One of you possibly growing to become so bitter toward the other that you remove yourself from the situation altogether. For the sake of the child not growing up to resent both parents because the enviroment isn't healthy.
Or maybe it's the exact opposite. Maybe the man is actually trying to do the right thing. Maybe he's trying to actually stick around and be there for his seed. Maybe he's dealing with the hassle of going thru personal bickers and putting those to the side for his child. It is possible that some women can get on that bullshit by blocking the father from being around his own miniture life.
Thinking about this recently gave me a nightmare two nights ago. I was having a child. A son to be exact. In the dream, my son was being born. But I wasn't there. I wasn't in the delivery room because no one informed me the mother's water had broke. Til' it was too late. That feeling of not being there, though it was dream, broke me down on the inside. I was only thinking of the fact that if I wasn't there for the birth, I can't imagine not being there for everything else in his life. That type of pain, I wouldn't wish on anyone. Dream or Reality.
There are tons of reasons why single parenting happens. But I focus on the father's perspective because we already know how hard it is on the mother. We already know the woman is strong for carrying a life 9 months. It's been glorified by the masses so hard, it's almost as though it's rather preferred. Songs about "B-A-B-Y M-A-M-A", "Dear Mama"....damn, we get it!!
The fact of the matter is to have both parents in a child's life is better. The balance of a mother's loving ying to a father's discipling yang brings balance. Though I do not advocate the father to be missing from a child's upbringing, you don't always know the story behind it. You don't always know the reasoning. You'll never understand it until it happens to you.
Beanie Siegel feat. Jay-Z "Still Got Love for you" (The Reason)
So just take heed. Parenthood is not a game. If you are a parent or are about to be, and you have somebody who's willing to do what they can and wants to be there, don't deny them. Less struggle than what it already is. Trust me...
That's all I had to say...please feedback if you can.
TIL' MY NEXT RANT!!!!! THIS IS ANTHONY DI'ANGELO INGRAM JR!!! AND I'M SIGNING OUT!!!!